I recently watched Inside Out 2 and found myself loving it just as much as the first one. Both movies offer powerful lessons about our emotions, and the way they personify feelings is especially impactful. In my work as a therapist, I often encounter people seeking more happiness, peace, or joy in their lives. The journey to achieving these feelings is important because as humans, we thrive when we experience joy.
The character Joy in Inside Out stands out because she embodies all the good things in life—contentment, cheerfulness, optimism, and hope. In the first movie, she tries to keep all the "bad stuff" at bay, ensuring that happiness isn’t compromised. However, in the sequel, we learn that every part of us, even the challenging and hurtful parts, matters. We can't throw out the things we don't like about ourselves or life and only keep the good parts. The great news is we don't need to do that either in order to be happy! The key to integrating all these parts—whether good, bad, or joyful—is acceptance.
Joy can often be more meaningful and profound when we recognize the pain or hurt we've experienced. Acceptance of all parts of ourselves is a journey. It takes time and reflection to give these parts the attention they need. Our inner critic might tell us we’re not good enough, the jealous part might say we deserve better, and the hurt part might whisper that we’re not worthy of attention. These feelings can keep us from experiencing joy. But if we let them take over, we may never get there. Acceptance means acknowledging these feelings without getting stuck in them. We can’t plant roots in these emotions; instead, we can stay motivated to process and move through them in order to feel joy more often.
Some things to consider as you seek your own joy in life:
Identify, Appreciate, and Reflect on the Positive: Take a moment to recognize something in your life that’s going well. Step away from anger, anxiety, or sadness, even if just for a moment, to find a small window of gratitude. Accepting hardships can be a game changer if you truly believe you can get through them. Realize that you have probably managed to go through difficult things, and you have reached another side. Learn to first access the "I can" rather than the "I can't." I share this with my clients, "I know there is another side to this. We may not know how to get there, or what it will look like, but we have to believe that you can get there."
Recognize Your Character Strengths: Are you resilient, reflective, a good communicator, or patient? Every day, try to identify a part of yourself that you love or value. These strengths are the foundation for joy.
Stop Judging Yourself Negatively: We are often our own worst critics. But what if we started being our own best friends? By reducing self-judgment, we open ourselves to more self-care, self-acceptance, and faith in our abilities. Criticizing ourselves focuses on the parts we don’t accept, robbing us of joy. So, ask yourself: What would it take to accept all of who you are and experience joy in its fullness?
Recognize What Your Body Needs to Experience Joy: Our bodies are often seen as separate from our minds, but they’re deeply connected. Personally, I love exercising and walking my dog past a kids' playground. Watching the children laugh and play brings back happy memories from my childhood. What brings you joy? Whether it’s dancing, stretching, or cooking, listen to what your body needs. Accepting yourself includes nurturing the body that carries you.
Align Your Personal Goals with Your Values: If you’re living life for others—whether a company, partner, or societal expectations—you might be preventing yourself from feeling true joy. It’s much more fulfilling to live a life that aligns with your own values and interests. This doesn’t mean we don’t compromise, but it does mean that the effort, work, and time we put into something should be something we want to do. Often I hear that people don't want to do something and they don't believe they have choice in the matter. Finding your agency, identifying your values, and shifting your mindset to say, 'I will start living more in line with my values, even if it's just one small step at a time,' is a powerful way of telling yourself that you are a priority.
Accept Life’s Challenges: We all face disappointment, sadness, and even regret. These feelings are inevitable, but are you ready to face them rather than avoid or bury them? Often, dealing with difficult emotions head-on shortens the path to joy.
Establish Boundaries: Boundaries are essential, not to push others away, but to show them how you want to be treated. When others respect your boundaries, it fosters a sense of safety that can lead to happiness, connection, and joy. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, it can be hurtful, but remember that your boundaries are there to protect your joy. If something in life is costing you joy, please consider if it worth the costs.
Play and let yourself be free: As adults we can really get caught up in the world of adulting! Around every turn is responsibility, worry, bills, chores, kids, careers, pets, family, health, cooking, etc... The list can keep us from freeing our hearts, minds and bodies to have fun. Fun is so good for the soul. First, it releases serotonin and dopamine, which research indicates that a lack of serotonin can lead to poor sleep patterns, stress, or anxiety.
Secondly, if we do not take the time to relax and have fun, we will just continue to build stress, which can lead to burnout and an even greater lack of productivity.
Finally, having fun allows us the opportunity to connect and create bonds with others. Doing enjoyable activities makes us more pleasant to be around, and doing these activities with others can create lasting memories that will bring us a lifetime of happiness.
Joy is that beautiful place within us, a place we can nurture and protect. It’s the inner feeling of peace and happiness, and you have the power to cultivate it. It takes intention, effort, and time, but it’s so worth it. Embrace all parts of yourself, and in doing so, you open the door to experiencing joy in its fullness. Accepting who you are, all the greatness, wisdom, beauty, imperfections, hopes, fears and challenges - although a tall order - can support you feeling more joy in life!
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."
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